Archive | May, 2016

Uh-Oh! I See a Nipple!

16 May

I spent most of my Saturday hanging out with Tiny Nephew.  You can see the before and after comparison of our day below.

I posted this picture on various social media accounts.  People responded.

But do you know what?  I didn’t get a single post asking me to cover up.  Facebook didn’t deem my body offensive (though it probably should have), so the picture was not censored.  In fact, the overwhelming consensus on this post is that it is “cute” and “precious” and “awwwwww”.

Today I saw a viral video of a female weather reporter being stopped in the middle of her live on-air report, so that she could be handed a cardigan to cover up.  It seems viewers were offended by her tight black dress.  Why?  Why is it okay for me to post topless pics of myself, but a fully-clothed woman is shamed by her employer on the air?  How is that okay?

Currently, I am expecting my first child, a daughter.  I’ve become much more attuned to the world she and my wife will face in the coming years.  Things I took for granted as a man are starting to trouble me.  I am beginning to understand my female friends a little better, and I share their indignation for how women are treated in our society.  There is a clear double-standard for how men and women should present themselves.  And it sucks.

“Never mind if your breasts are being used to nourish your baby; I have sexualized them in my mind, so go feed your kid on a public toilet! ”

“Don’t dress in a way that makes you feel empowered; that is threatening to me as a man, so cover up or prepare to be slut-shamed!”

But I am free to flash my nips to anyone I want, post them anywhere I want, and I’ve not heard a thing.

So how about it?  Anyone want to slut-shame me?

 

Blogging for Baby – Prepping the Nursery

13 May

Let’s be honest.  I have no input in the design of the nursery, especially one for a little girl. Even if my wife wasn’t the most awesome planner I know, she also has two interior designers in her family (her sister and her mom), so I am basically fourth on the depth chart when it comes to opinions.  If I’m being really honest, I am actually a day laborer in this endeavor, minus the payment.  So my contribution to this involved painting, lifting, and reaching.

Before Photos

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Okay, this isn’t really the “Before” Photo.  This is more like the post-clearing-crap-out-but-pre-nursery-photo set.

My experience involved coming home on a Thursday night and taping off the room, laying down plastic, and applying samples to our wall.  Then on Friday, I applied a thick coat of primer because even though our walls were originally a light shade of tan, it kept getting bleeding through.

Finally, on Saturday, I put Star Wars on the laptop and got to work.  Three consecutive viewings later, I had a very pink room!

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Then it was time to add detail and furniture to the room!  But that could wait, right?  Clearly you don’t know us or you wouldn’t be asking that question.

We actually had no intention of purchasing our crib until much later in the pregnancy, but Amazon pulled a fast one on us!  We had already settled on the Davinci Jayden 4-in-1 Convertible Crib in black, to match a dresser that we already owned.  It was perfect!  Phthalate-safe, affordable, and easy to assemble!  I was hooked after reading the first review on it!  But at some point, they stopped carrying it (at least in black).  So that sent us on a mad scramble to buy the crib much sooner than anticipated before the price point changed!

I am not the sort of person to just let it sit there in the box to be assembled in the future.  Once it arrived, it got built.  From there, were were actually able to incorporate pieces from elsewhere within our home to complete the nursery.  The only things we had to buy were some art pieces for a gallery wall.

I won’t give away all of the final touches, but here are some teasers:

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When I told my mom the nursery was already done in April, she asked what we planned to do through the summer while we waited for the baby to arrive.

“Simple,” I said, “Dust!”

 

 

Blogging for Baby – The BIG Ultrasound

12 May

Impatient to meet my daughter, I’ve decided to project what she’ll look like with a facial generator website.

Source: Blogging for Baby – The BIG Ultrasound

Blogging for Baby – The BIG Ultrasound

12 May

So yeah, we’re pregnant.  I’m not going to act like I am still in shock.  We found out in January and it is May now.  But we are at the 20 week mark, halfway through it, and for some reason it is finally starting to feel real.  Up until this point, we hedged our excitement because we knew there was a chance of things going south.  But as this thing progresses, my optimism has risen.

Two weeks ago, we had the big scan.  You know the one if you you’ve ever been expecting.  This is the scan where they measure every part of the baby’s body to make sure everything is developing on schedule.  What they don’t tell you is that, healthy or not, they will spend an inordinate amount of time on the baby’s heart.  So after five minutes of watching her four chambers pumping blood, I began to wonder what concerns the nurse had.  Of course, my fears were unfounded.  Everything was fine.  Maybe next time, using words would be a way to keep my imagination in check.

For all the detail we were able to see that day, the one image that escaped us was a picture of her facial features.  The scan pierced her surface and only gave us a view underneath.  So we got a shot of this adorable skull/demon thing growing in my wife’s uterus.  I am not kidding when I tell you our daughter looked like this:

I am not a patient man.  I am the guy who finished setting up my kid’s nursery weeks ago.  So now of course, I am on a mission to figure out what she’ll look like.  For that, I turn to baby pictures of my wife and I.

Next, I find one of those free facial generators online that blends features from multiple pictures.

Okay.  I can see that.  Much cuter than a Stormtrooper.